everyday is a struggle. i think about suicide and cutting most days. noone understands. they pretend they do, but they dont. noone knows the real me anymore. they know me as 'the one who makes everyone happy.' thats not me anymore, i cant make myself happy right now. the smile i wear, yeah.. thats a fake smile. i dont want people knowing about me, everyone would just call me an attention seeker for cutting. im not an attention seeker, its how i express myself.. its not my fault; i cant help it. i need help, and fast. i got kicked out of anger management, ive lost so many close friends;we barely speak anymore.. i genuinely dont know what to do with myself. i feel isolated from everything.. i get invited to partys, i dont wanna go because of the worry of everyone seeing the scars on my arms.. im not ashamed, i just dont want the questions and the rumors. the biggest lie ive ever told is... 'im okay..' im not, im far from it. i just dont show my emotions, thats my problem. i wish i could find someone to open up too, someone that can get me through the hardest of times. but every fucckaah' is just judgemental. why cant people just understand?
16 && seen enough of the world.
16 && seen enough of the world.
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